Too

The chicken marsala is delicious and my husband looks half dead. He doesn't eat, and I worry that our new friend, J, won't like what I am serving for dinner. Even if it is delicious. Stomach flu is not fun.

I love your curly hair, J. You don't get that from your dad- his hair is straight. Does your mom have curly hair? 

I have never met his mom, but J's family seems nice. He's a new friend that likes to play outside in our backyard. This is the first time he's stayed for dinner. He doesn't have a Southern accent. His dad is also a doctor. This is what I know.

No, my mom doesn't have curly hair, either.

Oh, well, if you don't get it from your dad or your mom, how do you come by your curls?

I'm prying, but I don't realize it. I don't think. I just talk, worrying about the dirty house and the chores to be done and the stomach flu and how many hours it is until John leaves and I have all the kids by myself while he goes to Vegas.

So the obvious answer surprises me.

Well, my birth mom has curly hair.

Thwunk. I am a knight de-horsed by the words of an 8 year old. I land hard.

I pause to consider my next words, but I can think of none. My horse gallops away. My armor is heavy on my limbs. 

Oh. So you are adopted. 

He nods. It's no big deal to him. 

Well, Anna is adopted. And we think adoption is pretty special.

What am I saying? Shut up! Special? Special? All I can come up with is SPECIAL?

I realize this is the first time I have come to know that a child is adopted from the child. Not the parents, not the setting, but the child. Just a kid telling his story.

The way Anna says "I'm dopted" sounds different in my ears. The words ring in my head like the clanging reverberations of metal on metal. My armor falls off. I feel vulnerable. For me, or for him?

John, silent until now, speak. 

You know, Abigail is adopted, too.

J straightens in his seat. Eyes dart between Abigail, John and I. I nod.

Yep, she came from my belly, but her dad adopted her when we got married.

J breaks into smile. 

That's cool. Adoption really is special.

Crockpot Chicken Marsala Recipe

Butter.

Source

If you didn't know, that is pretty much the secret to making food taste good. Also, bacon. And wine. So a recipe that combines 2 out of 3 of those? Yeah, baby. This one's gooooood.

I first had Chicken Marsala at my friend Jill's house when I was 14? 15? I actually was babysitting for her. She made this, and I loved it. I've made it occasionally since then, but the whole frying-in-oil thing is something I don't feel comfortable doing around the babies. So I decided to loosely modify the original recipe for the crockpot.

Of course, the breading and pan-frying of the chicken in oil is part of what makes this particular marsala so good. But I tweeked it a bit (BUTTER!) and I honestly don't think it lost any flavor. The texture is different, but it's still tasty!

Crockpot Chicken Marsala

• 1.5 lbs boneless skinless chicken (I used breasts, but thighs would be fine, or tenderloins) (mine was thawed, but you could use frozen)
• 2T butter
• 6-8 green onions (scallions)
• 1 generous cup marsala wine (I used a combo of things: a splash of sweet Riesling, a splash of cooking Sherry, and a splash of cooking wine) (any sweet wine- like port or Sherry would work) (you could also sub apple or grape juice, I bet)
• juice of 1 medium lemon, or if you are like me, 1-2T lemon juice from one of those little sqeezable lemon bottles
• salt and pepper
• Cornstarch, flour, Wondra or thickener as needed
• Some people like to add mushrooms. I don't. But you can if you'd like.

Turn crockpot to high and smear butter in the bottom to melt.

Chop up your scallions (and mushrooms, if desired) and add to the butter.

Plop in your chicken, and season with salt and pepper. 

This is what I mean by "generous cup"

Pour in wine and lemon juice.

Use a 2qt slow cooker if you want to cook this all day- it should be pretty full and you won't risk anything being burned. I used a 4 qt, and realistically, you could probably cook this on low for 8+ hours and be okay. I didn't start my chicken until almost 2pm, so I cooked mine on high for 4 hours.

Just before serving, remove chicken to plate and cover to keep warm. Add thickener to sauce if desired (I thickened with 1t cornstarch dissolved in water, then brought back to near-boil... it took about 5 minutes to return to heat.) 

You can be all fancy and spoon sauce over the plated chicken, but I'll be honest, I don't like to wash extra dishes, so I return the chicken to the pot and serve right out of the crock (and use that plate that the chicken was resting on for my dinner.) Serve with pasta, rice, couscous or mashed potatoes. We ate ours with buttered noodles, asparagus, and salad.

The Verdict

[Insert photo of finished, plated chicken here. If you have one. But if you are me and are rushing to get dinner onto the table because a friend has unexpectedly stayed for supper and you can no longer serve dinner on top of the mess on the table and you have to clean the table which takes forever so you are way behind and the kids are whining and you forget to take a photo... well, then just imagine yummy chicken marsala here.]

Abigail and her friend J liked this. JA refused to try it, and Anna informed me that she "doesn't eat chicken." (I informed her that she also doesn't eat dessert. Ahem.) I gladly ate Anna's serving. John was sick in bed with stomach flu, but I think he would have liked it. The only thing that wasn't a total win was that the sauce was just a bit of a funny color. Kind of green-tinted.

I will definitely be making this again. It super easy and a great way to use up leftover sweet wines (leftover wine? ha!). Win!

What's your favorite crockpot recipe? Have you ever converted a recipe to make in the slow cooker?

Valentine's Day 2012

I decide to do a cookout-style dinner as a "valentine" to my family: BBQ chicken that John grills up, corn casserole, salad, and red strawberries. They look beautiful in the blue bowl. I wonder how many JohnAndrew will eat. 

Normally he inhales all fruit, especially strawberries. But tonight he is picky with his dinner. He starts to refuse everything except the berries, then even before we are done with dinner, he pushes his few last bites away. He refuses the pink heart cookie that Mimi had made and sent to him. 

I guess he is full. 

Taken with Instagram

 Later, we sit in bed and debate the latest episode of Once Upon A Time that streams to John's laptop. The show finishes, and we decide to watch an episode of Revenge.

Romance at it's finest.

As the episode ends, Ava Joy fusses for her late-night snack. I pick her up and as she is latching on, JohnAndrew's hollow cries bleat through the baby monitor. I listen for a moment, thinking this is just a quick fuss before he rolls over and falls back asleep. It is 11pm.

But it doesn't stop. I hear fear and distress in his cry, not his standard annoyance from waking when he was trying to sleep. His stools have been loose the past few days, and I wonder if he has scared himself by filling his diaper. I send John to investigate as Ava Joy and I nurse.

John disappears out the bedroom door. Seconds pass. The creaky whine of JohnAndrew's bedroom door interrupts the sound of his distress. He quickly quiets.

"Little Man, this is gross. What happened?" Rustling. More whine-crying.

"Momma, I am in need of backup." Oh great, perhaps JohnAndrew has gone chimp-y and smeared? That would be hard, considering the one-piece sleeper we put him down in. I wish our monitor was 2-way so I could ask how bad it really is and what supplies I need.

Ava Joy continues to nurse as I climb the stairs. The smell slaps me as I mount the last 2 steps.

This is not poop. Oh no. This is vomit.

I walk into the room, now brightly lit with the overhead light. JA begins crying again, reaching for me. I look into the crib. I find his entire dinner.

We shuffle the babies between us, comforting JohnAndrew while stripping him down. The vomit keeps coming, and each time he is scared. His hands dart to his mouth, as if to hold it in, and he pulls them away covered in yuck. In his distress, he rubs his head. A cute self-soothing mechanism when his hands aren't full of vomit.

He reaches to cradle my face. I swiftly pull his hands into a towel.

John gives him a bath while I tackle the bed. No one wishes for this job. Unless they wish for the job of mother.

Down to our bedroom. Ava Joy finally sleeps and is tucked into her basket. JohnAndrew flops like a dying fish: a spurt of energy that jerks him to and fro, then limp and lifeless. He lays between us and whine-cries.

I give him a sip of water. The whine-cry stops. Success. He lays down, soothed.

Taken with Instagram

Until he vomits again. The comforter and sheets are soaked.

This process repeats until I take his cup away and turn off the lights. The whine-cry continues. John and I take turns cuddling his feverish body close to us. He fish-flops every few minutes. I doze. Somehow, John snores.

I awaken to the sound of Anna. She is on John's side of the bed, relating a scary dream. JohnAndrew lays between us, his body a V, feet on John's stomach and head on mine.

Anna is comforted and John walks her back to bed. JohnAndrew fusses as he leaves the room, but I draw him close to me and he quiets. We doze again.

Then it is 5:45. The alarm is going off, and JohnAndrew whine-cries, causing Ava Joy to stir. John pulls JA's toddler body into his chest as I bring Ava Joy into bed to nurse her. The 4 of us are surprisingly still and only moderately cramped.

Snooze has run out and the alarm sounds again. It's my cue... the day awaits and I can hear Abigail plodding around; soon she will want her breakfast before walking to the bus stop.

John and I exchange whispers. He gets up. I cuddle the babies. Before long, he and Abigail are out the door; he kisses me before he leaves and wishes me luck in my day. The 3 littles are cuddled with me in bed.

This is how we spent our Valentine's night. And this is how I know John loves me.

Blog Makeover

I've recently been working on a blog makeover- are you excited to see the new look? I can't wait!

Source

Anyway, as I've been spending time thinking about how I want my blog to look, I've also spent a lot of time thinking about the content of my blog. What do I write about and why? And is this how I want to use this space?

When I look back at my archives I cringe so often that I look like I'm having convulsions. I've been blogging in this space since I was 23 years old. I've grown up since then. My thoughts- and how I think- have been reformed. My relationships with God and others have undergone a complete renovation. My focus? I've had corrective eye surgery and see things with clearer vision these days.

What I write about is obvious from my most common category tags: adoption, Abigail, Anna, JohnAndrew, Ava Joy, family, ethics, health, motherhood/parenting, pregnancy/breastfeeding.

But I've outgrown some of these topics. I do still write about adoption occasionally, but usually in reference to adoption ethics. I may continue writing about breastfeeding, but generally because of advocacy reasons. Pregnancy? I probably won't have much to say about that anymore, either.

So here is what I've decided. I want to use this space intentionally (ugh, what an over-used word, I know!) I want to share about my family, certainly, as this is a great way for friends far and near to keep up-to-date on our lives.

But I also want to use this space to advocate for those issues that are dear to my heart: the hard parts of transracial adoption; race and racism in the US; attachment in adoption and step-parent adoption; my growing faith and dependence on the Lord; parenting. I want to lend this space to guest bloggers who want to have a platform for expressing ideas that can change the world.

To do that means I need to start talking about some of my failings. I need to be open about the way our family is less than perfect... the way many ways I am less than perfect.  I need to be humble. And we know that is often a tough pill to swallow.

So I'm working on some posts.... some soul-baring, flaw-revealing, crawling-on-my-knees-to-Jesus posts.

And it's hard.

But in the mean time, what would you like to see more of? What do you enjoy here? And what aspects of your life do you feel are most difficult for you to share on your blog?

Keeping in touch

Source

I know some of you use Google Friend Connect to keep in read my blog. I'm not sure if you know, but starting in March, Google is going to stop supporting GFC. I plan to stop using GFC on this blog by March 1. 

But!

There are still lots of ways you can continue to receive Gracelings content:

• "Like" the Gracelings Facebook Page and subscribe to the feed
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2012 is going to be a great year here, and I am making plans for giveaways, guest posts, and a groovy 30th birthday project. You won't want to miss a single post! 

So make sure you don't- change over your subscription using one of the links above!