I promised myself I wouldn't let it bother me anymore.
I wasn't going to get upset when someone who *said* they were my friend actually *did* something quite mean and hurtful, probably intentionally.
I wasn't going to get upset when I discovered them caught in what is tantamount to a lie.
I wasn't going to allow them to affect my life... to hurt me... to make me feel rejected and unworthy of being loved.
But I broke that promise. And they did hurt me. And they do hurt me. But at least this time, they don't know how much I hurt. And they won't know... not until I figure out what to do... maybe not ever.
I mean, what do you do? What do you say to someone who is supposed to be your friend, but is going around being hurtful and deceptive? Do you even bother to say anything? Sometimes we hurt our friends, that can't be avoided. But I do expect my friends to be honest with me. And I guess I expect that if you don't want to be my friend, you will be honest about that, too. If you think I am mean or ill-intentioned, I guess I would expect that you would either A) not want or claim to be my friend or B) call me on it. Being that I was neither mean or ill-intentioned in anything towards this person, I am shocked by their behavior. I did expect more of them, and the disappointment in their behavior is crushing, but does not even compare to the incredible hurt.
And what can I do about it? Seriously, I need to know what you think. At this point, I guess I am inclined to "turn the other cheek," or more accurately, ignore it and hope it will stop. I don't want to bring it up for a few reasons, one of which is I don't think the other person is going to be receptive to what I have to say since I have tried in a very mild and non-threatening way to bring it up in the past and they shut me down. Another thing is that being that this person has already hurt me quite a bit by their recent behavior, I don't want to give them any power to hurt me any more than they already have; I don't want to show them my weakness and my hurt because I am afraid they might take advantage of it. Another reason is that I just don't know if it is worth it. I thought I wanted this person in my life as a friend, but if this is who they really are, I am not so sure.
Even if I take the situation at best... even if I assume that they did not intend to hurt me by what they did... they are still choosing not to be honest with me, even when I tested the water in a mild way to try to get them to at least give me a bit of the truth. Unintentional hurt I can excuse. Intentional dishonesty... not so much.
So I guess I do nothing?