Wednesday, May 18, 2011

50 Ways to Say It

My birthday is tomorrow, so today I am giving you my birthday surprise! It's a day early to make it an extra-surprising surprise:)

50 Ways to Say It
  1. So, you have any big plans around Thanksgiving? We do.
  2.  I guess a minivan was rather Providential.
  3. Remember how my husband has a shirt that says “The Impregnator”?
  4. I really needed a reason to be done with that dieting thing. 
  5. You know that song “Get Me to the Church on Time!” from My Fair Lady? Yeah, I thought I could sing that to my sister, but change the word “Church” to “Birth.” Because, you know, maybe the third time’s the charm for her?
  6. I didn’t really want to spend that Gap gift card on “normal” clothes!
  7. We wanted to pick a Britney Spears song for our life theme song. John wanted "Oops, I Did It Again."
  8. Sometimes, God blesses us more than we could ever imagine. Because let me tell you, I could never have imagined this one up.
  9. Y’all, I may never fit into my skinny jeans again.
  10.  Admittedly, we could be more creative with our Mother’s Day gifts.
  11. The good news is, I hear I’ll get a two-for-one deal on potty training!
  12. Remember when the doctors all said I would have trouble conceiving? Hahahaha!
  13. Did I mention that John’s new philosophy is to never trust a doctor other than himself?
  14. Turns out, Percocet is an aphrodisiac. And, in my case, and amnesic.
  15. I think I will spend a good portion of the next few years saying “No, we are not Catholic.”
  16. You always knew John and I were “special.”
  17. For quite some time, my circle of friends did refer to my womb area as “The Fertile Crescent.” Guess they were right.
  18. I guess that money I spent on a maternity wardrobe wasn’t a waste after all.
  19. NFP. That’s all I’ve got to say.
  20. Did I mention that for me, exclusive breastfeeding doesn’t suppress a return to fertility?
  21. I think I read somewhere that near-death experiences increase fertility. Or, maybe I am just making that up to make myself feel better.
  22. I guess “The Six Showalters” has a better ring to it than “The Five Showalters.”
  23.  You know how we spoil our kids by giving them everything they ever wanted? (<--Sarcasm) Well, JohnAndrew said he wanted to be a big brother.
  24. Dudes, I’ve got heartburn. You know what that means.
  25. Does anyone have any Spaghetti-Os?
  26. Showalter world domination has to start somewhere. And by "some"where, apparently, we mean in my belly.
  27. Someone(s) made their mothers really happy on Mother’s Day!
  28. Does it say something about us that our 4 year old can identify an ultrasound picture of a yolk sac as being a baby?
  29. Y’all know I love me some sleepless nights! (<--- Sarcasm)
  30. You know, we ARE still newlyweds.
  31. I guess that doctor who did my lady-parts surgery really fixed me good.
  32. After this, I really don’t think Abigail will ever give birth to children.
  33. Did I ever tell you that my mom was jokingly referred to as “Fertile Myrtle”, and my bio dad as “Ready Freddy”? Not that we were looking to pick up those particular nicknames…
  34. I took a long, hard look at my life and decided what was missing was nausea. Lots and lots of nausea. (<--Sarcasm)
  35. Despite what you may think, I’m really not interested in beating Missy’s record.
  36. 11/11/11 would kind of be a fun birthday, right?
  37. We all have to be good at something, don’t we?
  38. I need to put my feet up.
  39. There may be better ways to teach Anna to count, but this is so “convenient.”
  40. Yeah, that wasn't bad takeout last week. That might have been a white lie.
  41. Turns out, no matter how many times you flip the thing over or hold it upside down, once it turns positive, you can't shake it back to “normal”, unlike a thermometer (believe me, John tried).
  42. I’m having a strange feeling of déjà vu...
  43. What can you think of that falls into the category of “The last thing John and Grace need right now is…”?
  44. The Bible does tell us to “be fruitful.” But I kind of thought that meant, you know, spiritually.
  45. Did I ever tell you about the time I nearly gave my husband a heart attack?
  46. Contrary to what you may think, I actually have just proven that I do have a hobby. Of sorts.
  47. Um, can we borrow your double stroller for JohnAndrew and “Anna”?
  48. John says to me, “you know what we need to make JohnAndrew a better wrestler?”
  49. Maybe my life calling is to start a one-woman natural childbirth revolution. You know... one child at a time.
  50. Sometimes, a picture is worth 1000 words:

Baby Showalter: due late November.

Surprise! Unless it wasn't, of course;)



Faith said...

Fist bump!

Dobrovits Family said...

You are too funny!!



Blessed Mommy said...

YAY for the Showalter SIX!!! Congrats!!

Alison said...

YAY!!! So excited for ya'll!!! A little Mississippi baby! :)

Mandalina said...

Grace, I've always said you were ambitious! When you decide to do something, you always go big. Over-achiever? Maybe.
I'm so happy that you finally have that great family you used to talk about. You're a great mother! What better way to show it than having a baseball team of children!

Congratulations to you and John! And after reading that about the percocet, I'm really afraid to take my norco. I think you tried to warn me about that. I get it now!

Sharon Wheeless said...

Congratulations on your new little one!

Dawn said...

Congratulations to you and your growing family!!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Very happy for you :)

When number #3 happened (7 months after #2, 19 months after #1), I remember that Walker was the last to know. I had to call all my friends for counseling first. He called me from work and could tell by my voice something was 'wrong'. I was just so in shock. So I told him. He said, "You just hit me over the head with a sledgehammer and I am about to walk into a meeting."

Then later that night he said, "I bet people THINK we do it all the time."

But, we got used to it, and honestly, she's the most joyful one in the house. Can't imagine life without Mags.

She did make me fat tho.

Cindy said...

Congratulations!! Love the whole list : )

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