My husband and I are struggling greatly how to deal with all the feelings about adoption we have, now that we have gone through such a trying experience with our own adoption.
Our children are wonderful, and their orphan status is legitimate. It is the method in which our agency try to push through our adoption. They tried to push it through under a lie and the embassy caught it. Because of this we were stuck in Ethiopia for several months, sometimes wondering if our children would be taken away from us.
We are thankful the truth came out, but now we are left feeling hurt and wounded by the people who were supposed to be entrusted with every aspect of our adoption. We struggle with our feelings about adoption in Ethiopia.
We believe whole-heartedly that so many children in Ethiopia need families. But where does the "junk" stop? Where is the line? This is what we continue to struggle and fight with every day, because we ache for the true orphan, but are wounded by a twisted system that sometimes decided for itself who a true orphan is.
Notice, it was the embassy that caught the agency's lie. Not MOWA, not the courts. I can only speculate how it is that 2 "safety checks" set up within the Ethiopian system missed this fact, and only after the children were legally adopted did the embassy discover the agency's lie. Can you imagine the anguish of the children- after losing their first family, they must wait and wait to find out if their new family will really keep them, as they had been promised! Not to mention the fear, anxiety, and heartbreak of the adoptive parents!
This is not okay. This is not acceptable. This is not right or just. There is no justification for the agency's lie. None. And yet, don't you wonder how often it is that agencies do lie, just to "push through" their families? Or, more-so, why they lie? Why?