|Anna holding JA, November, 2011|
"Momma, what if I was born?"
Baskets of clothes surround us. She folds socks and washcloths and baby blankets. A stack of John's undershirts is in my lap. I place them in the basket to my left.
"You were born. In Ethiopia."
"No, I mean what if I was born. Like JohnAndrew and Ava Joy."
"You mean, what if you came out of my tummy?"
I grab her and pull her into my lap, craddling her against my chest.
"If you were born from my tummy, I would hold you like this, like a baby. I would give you my milk, and dress you in little baby clothes like this" I say, holding up a dress of Ava Joy's.
"And Abigail would go to the hospital to see me crawl out?"
"Yep. And Daddy would be there, and we would take pictures, and then we would bring you home in a little car seat, and we would hold you and say how itty bitty you were."
"And JohnAndrew and Ava Joy would hold me, too?"
"No, they came after you, silly!"
"Ohhhh." She looks away from me, and I can tell she has another question.
"And you would be brown like me, Momma?"
"No, I would still be peach."
She looks away again, thinking.
"And I wouldn't be 'dopted?"
"No. If you were born from my tummy, you wouldn't be adopted."